Am I Hurting My Partner?
Who comes to the MENS group? If you question if you are using power and control in your relationship, the MENS Group is here to help. As part of WC&S, the MENS Group offers counseling and education to help men work to change their attitudes and behaviors.
The MENS Group (Men Embracing Non-Violence & Safety) offers information on psychoeducation on abusive behaviors, understanding triggers, and accepting accountability for one’s own actions.
Abuse is a choice.
So is changing your behavior.
We can help.
This program is just a first step. It requires personal motivation and the desire to change. The men who participate in our program are committed to recognizing violence and abusive behaviors so they can choose a different path.
The MENS Group guides you in reconsidering:
- How your thoughts and attitudes put you at risk for choosing abusive behaviors
- How choosing controlling behaviors can create conflict within your relationships
- How responsible decision-making can lessen your stress
- How your personal growth can impact others around you
How Can I Tell If I’m Abusive?
Domestic violence (DV) can take many forms, including emotional and verbal manipulation as well as physical violence. Some common examples of domestic violence and intimate partner violence may include:
- Checking your partner’s cell phone or email without their permission
- Repeatedly texting or calling your partner multiple times per day
- Constantly putting down or insulting your partner
- Getting mad if your partner talks to other people and getting jealous easily
- Making all the decisions
- Controlling the finances and deciding how to spend money without involving your partner
- Criticizing your partner’s friends or family, and discouraging your partner from spending time with them
- Experiencing frequent mood swings
- Having an “explosive temper” or getting extremely upset at small things
- Physically hurting your partner (hitting, punching, choking, slapping, etc.)
- Coercing, forcing, or threatening your partner to have sex
- Driving under the influence or driving recklessly
- Demanding all of your partner’s attention and time
- Always insisting on winning an argument, no matter what
Why Do Men Come to the MENS Group?
In many cases, the men who attend our groups may have been court-mandated or required by probation to do so. They may have also been served with a Protection from Abuse Order or other forms of legal notice. However, many men also come to the MENS Group out of an earnest desire to change themselves, sometimes after being left by their partners.
Whatever the reason, our mission is to create a positive and open environment to help men who struggle with abusive tendencies to learn constructive ways to cope with their emotions and practice healthy relationship habits.
Helping Abusive Men Change
In the MENS Group, we believe that if you work hard and accept responsibility for your behavior, you can change.
The process will be long and difficult. It may be without rewards or support from a partner. You will, however, have support from the men and the facilitators in this program as you navigate through your journey. You will learn the skills and tools to reconsider your thoughts and your chosen behavior.
Completing this program is no guarantee of making safer choices. The MENs Group program helps men better understand how their thoughts, feelings, actions, and behaviors affect the people that they care about. We can provide the information, but the work must be done by you. Our desire is to keep everyone – you, your partner, and your children – safe throughout this journey.
Common Questions
Who comes to the MENS Group?
Many of our participants have been court-mandated or required by probation to complete a program for men who use abuse. Other men have contacted us themselves to gain a better understanding of how to not choose abusive behaviors.
What will I learn in the MENS Group?
We’ll help you deal with your feelings and emotions and give you tools to change your behavior. We all have our good days and bad days. We all experience stress in our daily lives, and we can help you learn to manage that stress and improve your relationships. Most importantly, we’ll help you recognize that abuse is a choice – not an illness. You, and only you, are responsible for your behavior.
What won’t I learn in MENS Group?
You won’t learn justifications for abuse – because there aren’t any. You also won’t learn how to save your relationship. While we do teach skills to help you build respect, trust, and support within your relationships, our sole focus is on teaching how to stop abusive behaviors and keeping you and your partner safe.
How to Start
Call The MEN’S Group at (412) 687-8017 ext. 340. Leave a message to speak with the coordinator about your interest. The coordinator will return your call to tell you more about the program and set up an intake session to learn more about you.
If you have been court-ordered, you must call within 10 days of your order.
You may also wish to download a brochure for the MENS Group.
