Leah met Neil on a videogame streaming site and started chatting online before deciding to meet in person. Once they met, they immediately hit it off and began dating. Leah said it wasn’t long before the relationship took a turn.
She said Neil began to get very controlling, often forcing her to choose him over making plans with her friends. Because their relationship was so new and Neil didn’t have many other friends, Leah guilted herself into putting more energy into their relationship.
“I’ve been blaming myself so much for making that choice. Why didn’t I see the warning signs?”
“If I went a few hours without texting him back, he wanted to know who I was talking to and what I was doing. There was zero trust.”
Leah decided she didn’t want to be in the relationship and attempted to end it, but Neil wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“He started making anonymous calls to my work to lie about me. He would give away my phone number to random people so that I would get all sorts of calls.”
She also found out that he was a convicted felon and was in possession of illegal firearms, even showing them to her on video calls and making threats if she ever tried to leave him.
Leah didn’t know what to do. Because she wasn’t from Pittsburgh, she didn’t know what options were available to her. After an online search, she found Women’s Center & Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh.
“I immediately got good vibes from your website. I read some stories of survivors and testimonials, and I felt like you could help, so I thought ‘Why not give it a try?’ I called the hotline and talked to someone who listened to my issues and problems and said if I was feeling unsafe, they could connect me to a lawyer to talk about my options.”
Leah started working with a lawyer from WC&S’ Civil Law Project, who explained the process of getting a PFA (protection from abuse order) and even arranged transportation for Leah to get to court. Often, survivors tend to minimize the abuse they’ve endured, so her lawyer gave Leah guidance on what to include in her paperwork so a temporary PFA could be granted and supported her while they waited for the final PFA to be served. After months of waiting, Leah ended up being awarded the maximum PFA protection order – five years.
“Getting a five-year protection order made me feel so relieved; it was like taking a weight off my shoulders. To have someone say ‘Hey, you’re not crazy. What you’re saying is real’ meant a lot to me.”
Though her abuser is currently serving time in prison for unrelated charges, Leah says she’s grateful the PFA is still active and that she reached out to WC&S for help. “I’m so glad that I found WC&S because I had tried to report the situation previously, and I wasn’t listened to. WC&S was supportive and believed me.”
